Moving Abroad Alone: When the Plan Changes but the Dream Lives On
The Dream Team: Mel and Tammi
I was super excited about the Mexico scouting trip. Why? Because Tammi was finally going to join me! Weād be bouncing from city to city, sussing out which place could support the dream weād been crafting for nearly seven months.
The itinerary was ambitious: Puerto Vallarta (already on the the Maybe list from a previous visit), Guadalajara (still scout on my own), then Tammi would join me for QuerĆ©taro, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico City, Oaxaca, and possibly San CristĆ³bal de las Casas.
And honestly? As much as I like solo traveling, itās sometimes nice to have a friend (or three) with you.
The Mid-Flight Pivot
But two things changed before Tammi arrived:
- I had been counting the days until I could leave Guadalajara ā so it moved to the No list;
- Life handed Tammi an unexpected curveball, and she told me she wouldnāt be able to move abroad with me after all.
There was no drama, no guilt trip, no anger (as she feared). My heart dropped, yesābut I understood.
Still, I felt some panic. For a while, I was flip-flopping almost daily: should I keep going solo? or make it a vacation (in Cancun or Playa del Carmen or Tulum)? skip Mexico altogether?
Eventually, I/we settled on a middle path: Tammi would still join me to scout Oaxaca (the perfect-on-paper city), and weād turn Mexico City into a girlsā trip. A win-winā¦ sort of.
It was a joy to share meals, talk logistics, and briefly slip into the illusion that this was just one more of our signature adventures. But we both knew. I was scouting for one now. Just me. Sola.
It wasnāt expecting to have to reaffirm my dreamāthis tender, now transforming, tenacious dreamā for myself and the universe, but itās what happened. Lifeās funny like that.
My dream is not dissolving, itās just changing shape.
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Building the Plane While Flying It
Thereās no sugar-coating it: some cities / countries were only going to possible with our combined budget. Flying solo again meant everything needed to be recalculated.
By the time Tammi flew home, I still didnāt have a solid plan for what would come next. āPanickingā doesnāt quite capture what I was feeling.
So, Tammi gifted me a beautiful, quiet place to think for another week. It was just what I needed and Iāll always be grateful for that.
New Chapter, New List
So, I now have a revised scouting list ā itās shorter, but sharper. It reflects my needs, my budget, and my evolving sense of what āhomeā could feel like.
Next stops:
- Colombia (Laureles in MedellĆn, Santiago de Cali, Armenia)
- Brazil (Salvador)
- Chile (Santiago)
This dream still matters to me. I’m determined to keep trying to build it. Iām scared, but not ready to throw in the towel. Not yet.
āØFinal Thoughts: Letting Go, Moving Forward
This is not the journey I imagined when I said goodbye to friends and family and boarded my flight months ago. But dreams evolve. Plans bend. And sometimes, letting go of the original story is the very thing that allows something amazing and unexpected to unfold.
I think the universe knew Iād given up on living abroad and sent me Tammi as a kick in the pants. And even though weāre not walking this path together anymore, her love and support are still with me.
Since I left the U.S., Iāve felt re-energized. So Iāll keep scouting. Iāll keep hoping. And Iāll keep listening for the whisper from the city that will be my next home.
And when I find it, Iāll know it.
š Have you ever had to rewrite your plans mid-journey? What helped you keep going when life threw you a curveball? Drop a commentāIād love to hear your story.
I love the way you open up your thought processes. Great to see what’s in that brilliant and thoughtful mind. I also got a kick out of seeing one of your famous decision-making spreadsheets embedded in this post. Keep the faith – in yourself and in the universe. Hugs
Thanks, I appreciate the encouragement. It’s a fine line between journaling and blogging and sometimes I’m not sure which side of the line I’m on. I’m glad you’re enjoying a peek behind the curtain. And, yes, I’m still the spreadsheet queen.